27 Years With & Without - Kurt Cobain
Photo by Jesse Frohman
27 years ago today we lost Kurt Cobain at 27. As a kid born in the late 90s, his name was something I recognized before I even knew who he was.
It’s like when you’re 3 years old and you keep seeing people wear that hat with that logo on it. You see it over and over. You wonder, why are people wearing that logo so often? What is it? You’re not old enough to really converse with someone to ask, but you figure it must be significant. Then eventually it clicks for you; maybe it’s at age 5. That is the New York Yankees logo. One of the most well-known organizations in the world.
That was Kurt Cobain’s name to me. His legacy still echoed very loudly in our culture in the late 90s and early 2000s. On TV, the radio, conversations between my parents and their friends - I just kept hearing his name, but didn’t know what it was. Eventually I started piecing it all together between probably ages 7 and 10.
“Ohhh ok so that opening guitar sound? That’s ‘Smells Like Teen Spirit’”
“Ahh, Kurt Cobain, that’s the guy from Nirvana.”
“Wait, Foo Fighters is the drummer of Nirvana?”
2007 - Goofing with my cousins.
As a kid, maybe 10-11 years old, I remember my dad explaining to me the “alternative revolution” as he described it. “I never really was a fan of Nirvana,” he told me, “but they opened the door for so many great rock bands. Before that rock music was getting really cheesy. Nirvana became the biggest band in the world with this grunge sound.”
For a while I was in the “Nirvana is overrated” crowd, and didn’t fully understand the significance. The grunge and pop rock sounds I loved, I was taking them for granted. I loved songs like “Lithium” and “Drain You”, but never fully understood what Kurt did. Then again, as a 12 year old kid, how could anyone fully understand the way culture evolves.
It wasn’t until probably 2017-ish that I fully dove into Nirvana and did my long overdue studying on the band that influenced all of my influences. Kurt’s fingerprints are all over LA Parties, but not so much in a direct manner. Kurt and Nirvana changed music in such a drastic way, and I don’t know who I’d be without the gifts he gave to the world. I’d bet, with confidence, that over 99% of music I love was made in 1991 or later. 1991 of course being the year Nevermind changed music forever. Alternative and rock music became a huge part of my identity since literally about 2-3 years old (more on that in another blog someday).
2019 - In the studio with my guy Chance Halter
To me, Kurt was always the musician who killed himself young. But now, as a 23 year old American rock artist, who does quite a bit of grappling with mental health issues as well, 27 doesn’t feel so far away. He was just a kid. We’re young-death-obsessed as consumers, but it feels like he really probably had a lot of beautiful gifts left to give us.
Today, Kurt would have been 54. Still a young man in many regards. It’s just hard for me to stomach losing someone in their 20s. Or 30s, or 40s, or 50s. Too young. Half the time since he’s been born, he’s been dead. That’s not supposed to happen at 54.
Nonetheless, thanks Kurt for giving your gifts, and staying true to who you were. Thanks for being the oddball who reinvented the game completely. You staved off the death of rock ’n’ roll for a solid 20 years. Long enough to give my generation a chance to carry the torch forward, through the rain, once again.